The Thought of Tomorrow Ruins Today

I was listening to Colin Hay yesterday and he has a song called 'Waiting For My Real Life to Begin'. And there are several quotes that talk about waiting for life to happen but those moments spent waiting are actually our life passing by. What a waste of time. But we always do it. How crazy would life be if the thought of tomorrow didn't exist? If we truly lived one day like it was our last? I think it's a good idea to live like today is our last day but it's not realistic. I mean, if today was my last day I would go skydiving, tell certain people how I really feel about them, drive across the country (or as far as I could get before the day ends) and maybe rob a bank. And some days I just like to stay in my pajamas and only get off the couch to pee. It's not how I would spend my last day but it's still a great day. Sometimes we have a day or a moment when we feel like we are truly living. I feel like that right now.

I'm in Atlanta for Thanksgiving. The thing I love about Georgia is the nature. There are hills and trees and true signs of it being fall. I took a blanket, a book, my camera, and my iPhone (for music) I'm laying in the middle of the woods. It's beautiful and I'm surrounded by yellow and red leaves and right now there are two squirrels playing their own version of tag about 25 ft away. I'm actually really scared of squirrels. My high school boyfriend told me to watch out for the squirrels because a girl got attacked by one in the Grove. He told me this when I told him I was going to Ole Miss in the fall. Thanks buddy. So ever since then if I see a squirrel I make a combat plan in my head in case one decides to attack me. So I'm a little nervous right now but I feel like I can handle my own against these two, I'm feeling a sense of courage here.

I'm very happy at this moment. I feel like I'm living. I have these moments a lot but I decided to record this moment so I can look back on it when I'm not having a good moment. Or maybe to inspire you to have one of your own. There are always excuses not to have one. Tomorrow being the main one. But mine today were the fact that it's a little chilly and I don't have a jacket. The ground is kind of wet. And I love being in the woods but I hate spiders. I am still a little chilly. And I brought 2 blankets to sit on so I don't get wet. But for a moment like this, being a little chilly and dealing with a couple spiders is so worth it. Don't live today like it's your last. Just go do something TODAY that you will do 'tomorrow'. Peace.

Monsters Aren't Just Under the Bed Anymore

It freaks me out that there are people in the world like that five-year old's mother in North Carolina. If you haven't been watching the news, the body of a five-year old girl was found and the story is that her mother was prostituting her daughter and that's how she ended up dead.

I'm sick to my stomach about this. Because this is one of several stories about parents killing their children or something similar. How? For nine months she carried this child inside her body. She felt her kick and she heard her cry as soon as she was born. She saw her sweet baby's eyes gazing into hers as she drank her bottle. How can someone do this? Reports say she was calm and quiet in court. No remorse, no emotion. A five year old girl being prostituted. And then murdered.

Innocence is the beautiful thing about children, and how dare anyone who takes that away. I'm so mad right now I could scream. Mainly because I just don't get it. It's difficult to believe that there are people out there who are so messed up in the head that they don't think twice about doing something like this and also don't feel any emotion afterwards. It's scary. It makes me more cautious about doing things I never thought twice about like walking around alone at night or getting into my car outside of a store. I never thought anything could happen to me and maybe it's because I didn't really think there were true monsters out there. But there really are. That's what people like this are... they are monsters, barely even human.

I feel so bad for what this poor innocent girl had taken from her and what she went through and how scared she had to be. And it's terrible that things like this are going on constantly. I hate it and it makes me sad. I wish there was a way to protect the innocence of every single child out there.

Highway Thoughts

I drive a lot. More than most I think. I always have. Depending on what's going on in life determines where these destinations are. The last couple years at Ole Miss I drove to Little Rock about once a week because that's where my 'crew' of the time was. Crew is such a lame word. Now I'm always driving to either Jackson, Natchez (where my parents are) or New Orleans (where my best friend and other group of fantastically wonderful girls are that I met through my best friend a few years ago).

But I always go alone. Because I like it that way. It's where I do my thinking and where I listen to my music that inspires me and makes me sing and makes me dance and sometimes makes me cry. I'm writing all of this because I realized when I got on here to start writing that most of my blogs are written while driving, specifically down 84 which is where I am now. I don't recommend this and I do realize it is a bit stupid and quite dangerous to blog while driving. But I write anyways because any writer knows when it hits you, it must be written at that moment or the ideas and/or feelings fade. So if it's written later it almost becomes something that is no longer written in first person because you are trying to remember what you were thinking and how you felt.

Sooooo... The original point of this entry. I want to start my own publication. I've never had the urge to do this before. I've always been happy seeing my articles in other people's papers. But Hattiesburg only has it's daily newspaper. There is no Jackson Free Press type of thing here. Which is a total shame because JFP is freakin awesome and so interesting. We need something like that here. And as much as I don't want to take on this huge amount of stress, I think I'm going to do it. My favorite part is that when I've mentioned it to a few people here they look at me like 'yeah, right, good luck with that'. What a freakin joy it is to prove people wrong. I can so do this.

And you know what's weird? People say everything happens for a reason. I kind of believe that, and I've seen an awesome connection between a couple things that have happened. I got a job selling advertising and marketing businesses for a magazine. Well I couldn't continue with that job because I'm staying in Hattiesburg and that's too far from my designated area. It was horrible and I was (and still am) so upset because I fell in love with the magazine and the people I worked with. But now I see... Maybe I was supposed to do this (start my own publication) and I got that job to learn how to sell advertising! Because I know how to write, take pictures, and I know graphic design. But before that job I had no clue how to sell advertising which is the most important part. Crazy huh?

So speak of things happening for a reason. I'm on the side of the road now, I got pulled over for speeding. It wasn't even on purpose, I'm not even in a hurry. I just wasn't paying attention because I was all into what I'm writing. So maybe I shouldn't write while driving. Crap my dad is going to freakin kill me. Until next time...